Thursday, April 2, 2009

MR Fanfic (MPOV) Chapter four

I don't know how long I had been flying for, but it felt like too long. I was circling the nearby skies to try to find my Flock. I had circled around the mall a few times and hadn't seen the van, then I had flown over gas stations, restaraunts...all kinda of places. I didn't see my Flock anywhere. People occasionally saw my shadow go overhead, and looked up. Some people waved at me. I didn't wave back. I was on a mission. Well, technically, two. Man, Max, that was a stupid idea... I told myself, thinking about the fact that I had promised that girl's mom that I would find her daughter.

It wasn't stupid, Max. The voice chimed in. I rolled my eyes and glared at nothing. It was the right thing to do, and you know it.

Okay, whatever. I just have to find my Flock, okay? I thought, glancing down at a car dealership. There were a bunch of policemen and salesmen circled around what appeared to be a pile of...robot pieces? I decided to fly in for a landing around back.

I walked around back, looking totally normal, except for my wind-blown hair. One of the salesmen glanced over his shoulder, looked back to the policeman, then back at me. "Hey, what are you doing back here...?" He asked me, looking confused.

"What?" I asked, probably looking equally confused.

"Where's the rest of your clan?" He began walking towards me and all of my muscles automatically tensed.

"What do you mean?" I studied his face hard as I spoke. He looked completely confused, now.

"You were here earlier...but you left with the other kids...and now you're back..." He said slowly.

"Okay, explain!" I said, getting really annoyed.

"Uh, you came in with three boys, two other girls, and I think I saw a little black dog. You told me you were looking for a big, cheap car. While you and I were talking, a car blew up, and evidentally a bunch of other ones got destroyed. When we and the police looked back at the video footage, we saw that it was a bunch of...well...robots. You and your...boyfriend, I'm assuming, explained that you were being chased by these robots, and the reason they blew the car up was becuase they were looking for you..." He stopped, as I began pacing.

"Okay, I'm not the girl that was here earlier, but we are like, twins of some kind." I said quickly.

"Okay..." He said slowly. His confusion was starting to annoy me. And I was already annoyed.

"All I need to know is how they left and which way they went." I said, breathing deeply.

"They left in a van, going that way..." The salesman pointed west, down the road, and I nodded.

"Thanks, I guess." I said, then began running along the road. People have seen me enough with my wings out that taking off infront of people doesn't really bug me too much anymore. Especially if I need to get to my Flock as fast as possible.

I heard some gasps behind me, and even looked at the kids in the car I was taking off next to. There was a little girl in the car, staring at me with her mouth open. It was pretty funny. I waved to her then was up into the sky in an instant of pounding wings and flexing muscles.


Anonymous said...

It seemed kinda boring, but that's just because I'm a woman of action. Other than that it was really good. You filled in most of the holes quite nicely. One question though. I thought that the robots blew up all of the cars. And how did the salesmen know where they were going. The flock climbed out of the bathroom window. Sorry just some criticism. Hope it helps. Many people are very picky about how a fanfic is made.

Your loyal reviewer,

mii maker said...

...They flew out the window...I don't remember writing that...*gives Zelda a confused look* But see, you gave me consturctive criticism! whoo! :P The robots only blew up one car...I thought...I'll have to go back and either read through the other chapters and edit them...or...something else. :P
;) The Mii Maker ;)